bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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