there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
