Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
