dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize