Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
