I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
