Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
