Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
