mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
