My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
