So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
