how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
