dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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