next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
