i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
