when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
its not stalking. its research.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
