My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
