ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think people are normalizing furries
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
