What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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