i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
