God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Randomize
