I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
