He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he just fucked me for my cheese..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
