I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
