i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Im part way to drunk.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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