I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
