Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
