elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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