I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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