for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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