I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
