You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
