I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
