Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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