Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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