is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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