Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You took a bar mat shot.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
