Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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