She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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