when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
