Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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