I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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