Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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