Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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