have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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