so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
