Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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