You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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