fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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