I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do vagina's smell?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize