3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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