Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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