I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
