it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Found the puke drawer
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
