guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
