just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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