I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
