i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
