I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
